we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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