Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
