White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize