My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
