dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
