This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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