Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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