Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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