oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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