Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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