There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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