When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You are a genius and a whore.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
