my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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