I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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