omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
