cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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