We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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