the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You did what with his pubic hair?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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