i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
