Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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