think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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