nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
