hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
