I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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