he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
