I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my shit smells like andre
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
