We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
