I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
