I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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