I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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