a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
