I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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