I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize