Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina is officially offended.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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