Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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