i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
