I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
