Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
