I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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