p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
do herpes really smell.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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