i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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