you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
