i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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