fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
