Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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