He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
