I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
