yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
