He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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