I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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