I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
