I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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