Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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