i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
