and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
