he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
