i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize