we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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