she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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