I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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