WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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