I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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