I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
