it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
