Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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