she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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